View Full Version : Football Humor
OK - It's late November and most have their boats away but the Ice isn't frozen so all we have to do is watch football. Everyone tells me my football jokes are getting tired so I need some new ones. If you have a good one, let's hear it.
The Bears were playing an exhibition game against a team from Poland at Soldier Field. About halfway through the game, a Taxi backfired in the parking lot. Of course upon hearing it the Polish team thought the game was over and ran off the field. The Bears scored three plays later.
OrangeBarrel
11-26-2001, 04:21 PM
You want to hear something funny? I had to think about that one for a couple seconds. DUH!!!
OK, I've got one. Now remember, don't kill the messenger!!
The Vikings' practice facility was evacuated for two hours because a player noticed a white powdery substance. After calling in the FBI and the FBI's thorough inspection of the premise, practice was resumed as the white powdery substance in suspicion was the goal line!
Sorry Vikes fans!
redbone
11-26-2001, 04:57 PM
anything with the detroit lions in it.
Kevin/CO
11-26-2001, 05:45 PM
Boulder Police had to put out an APB for Gary Barnett for RP after what happened to the Cornhuskers Friday. GO BUFFS!
perchjerker
11-26-2001, 06:14 PM
Hey hey!! the lions are the only team in the NFL with a perfect record!!!
Two guys from Minnesota died and ended up in #####. As the devil walked by he noticed these guys had on their parkas,muc-luc boots, hats, and mittens. The devil asked "aren't you guys a little warm? They answered "naw, were from Minnesota, dis feel good to us". The devil then went over to the thermostat and cranked the heat way up. As the devil walked by the Minnesotans he noticed they still had on their ice fishing stuff and asked "aren't you guys warm yet?" They answered "naw, were from Minnesota, dis feel good to us". Then he went to the thermostat and turned it all the way down. The people were crying and screaming. Huge ice flows were everywwhere in the sub-zero temperature. When he went to the guys from Minnesota, they we giving each other high fives, hugging everyone and dancing in the streets. The devil said "I turn the temperature down, and you guys are happy??"
They guys from Minnesota said "you did that?? We thought that the Vikings won the Super Bowl."
Cangl
11-26-2001, 06:22 PM
Yup the Lions, as for the substance with the Vikings maybe the FBI did call the DEA?
Saw a new bumpersticker that said GO LIONS and take the TIGERS with you.
Sunshine
11-27-2001, 02:06 PM
Sadly, the Mommy Lion and the Daddy Lion decided to get a divorce. They couldn't decide on custody, and had to go to the Judge.
The Judge asked the Baby Lion who he wanted to live with.
I don't know" said the Baby Lion. "Well," said the Judge, "do you want to live with Mommy Lion?" "No," replied the Baby Lion. "She beats me."
"Then would you like to live with the Daddy Lion?" asked the Judge."No," said Baby Lion, "he beats me even worse than the Mommy Lion."
"Well, you have to pick someone. Isn't there ANYONE you'd like to live with?" "Yeah, there is" said the Baby Lion. "I'd like to live with the Detroit Lions- They don't beat anyone."
Fuzzy
11-27-2001, 03:12 PM
What do Billy Graham and the Detroit Lions have in common?
The both make large crowds of people stand up on Sundays and all say
"JEEEESUUSSS CHHRRIIIST!!!"
groovymoe
11-27-2001, 03:16 PM
The University of Michigan has decided to install astro-turf in the Big house in an attempt to keep their cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.
Go Bucks!!!
Groovymoe
Why doesn't Iowa have a pro football team??
Because then Minnesota would want one.
SD Fisher
11-27-2001, 08:16 PM
Q: Know what the Minnesota Twins and Minnesota Vikings have in common ?
A: Neither one can play football.
A-TRAIN
11-27-2001, 09:28 PM
(GREEN BAY)
Walter Payton
11-27-2001, 09:31 PM
The Packers
hammertime
11-28-2001, 06:08 AM
the nice thing about living here in michigan is we can continue our fishing and hunting all season long and not have to miss a beat because we already know the lions and tigers are losers !! would hate the thought that they might win sometime.
FisherJoe
11-28-2001, 10:12 AM
Howe do you keep an elephant out of your refrigerator? Close the door!
How do you keep a lion out of your refrigerator? Paint a goal line in front of it.
What do you call a Minnesota Viking witha Super Bowl ring?
A Thief
bluelund
11-28-2001, 09:27 PM
Did you hear they are going to replace the turf in the Metrodome with cardboard? Yeah it seems the Vikings always look better on paper!!!
Bob M
what do you call a Cleveland Browns huddle?? A drug ring