marriage counselors-michigan

[bum]

looking for a marriage counselor in SE michigan(having marriage problems)-thoguth asking you guys would be better than grabbing one out of a book?
been married 14 years

Anyone know of a good one?

how can you find one?

Also what kind of experience have you had?

how long did you go?

Together?

Did it work?

any info would be great
I realize i did this once a couple weeks ago, but looking for mor einfo

[hmmm]

Marrage Counselors are a dime a dozen. Sadly, too many are not that great. I know a counselor who is in counseling cause she cant hold a relationship herself, and then she goes out to teach others how to hold on to each other.
Save some cash, try this 1st. Now this is ASSUMING you and your spouse want to try to do this together. Get the book "The Five Love Languages" and BOTH of you read it seperately then together and work on it. This book and the book "The Five Love Languages of Children" have saved dozens of relationships of people I know, as well as strengthened many, many more.
http://www.moodypress.com/promo/garychapman/garychapman/
Now then, IF YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT REALLY COOPERATIVE, get the book "His Needs Her Needs" This book is and has saved my own marriage and has a basically unresponsive spouse coming around to loving again. More than that, it has trained a blowhard Crumudgeon like me how to effectively express my feelings to my wife and allow her to feel secure and loved.It has shown me why men, myself included, have such a hard time relating to their wives and why men and men in general cant communicate well to each other.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html
I do not sell either of these books, nor am I in the book business, nor am I a marriage counselor. But I have seen counselors break up, or fail to prevent the break up f dozens of friends.
Before you run off and potentially find some "hack" check these books out and really try. Do what the books aspouse, it may seem corny at first, and you may take some ribbing from the Macho pig club (formerly known as "the guys at work etc.." but look at their relationships.
Take advice from people who have happy marriages and relationships like the authors of these two books who have saved THOUSANDS of marriages and have an abnormally high success ratio in saving marriages.
Posting here is a good first step, and so is tryinfg these books. I may take some fire from this post but I don't care. All I can ask to the loudmouths that will attack, what would your spouse say about you?

[GotCounseling]

I have been through counseling. A counselor that does great things for one person may not be able to reach another. It is a very individual thing.

I think I went through 7 over 15 years before I found one that really helped me. It was worth the effort.

I don't know how to help you screen them to find the one that helps you. But I DO know that my life is much better off having found that one that helped me the most. Most of them helped a little or I dropped them after 2 or 3 sessions.

The fact that you have posted about this topic again tells me you are a prime candidate for their services.

GO. Try it. Only you can answer the question "Is it helping?" If it is not, move to another counselor. You will find one that will help eventually.

[GLO]

You might actually call someone in your specific area, even, gads!, out of the phone book, or try a lawyer or minister who may give you some references that would be useful to you instead of looking to total strangers on a fishing message board, for which marriage counselors are not general discussion related to fishing.

[Been there]

Also check out the book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, The Care and Feeding of Husbands. Although it's written for wives, both should read it. Excellent material and advise.

Been there

[bum]

THANKS GLO

but this says genreal discussion

not genreal discussion to fishing


if you didnt like the topic-why read it

sorry i wasted your valuable time

[Observer]

Don't pay any attention to GLO. Most of us have learned to ignore his poasts.

This is a board where people DO care about other people and try to help them. The section you posted on is indeed titled "General Discussion", you have every right to post what you posted, and GLO had no business posting his nasty reply. Your post was clearly described in its title and he knew what he was going to see when he clicked on it.

I have also posted about a wide variety of subjects here including dog care, archery, eye care, deer hunting, and basement problems. I received good input EVERY time from the decent people who come here. I have followed the advice that seemed workable for my skill sets and have had great success with it. I shall continue to post "General Discussion" topics here. So should you.

I have also been through counseling and it has helped me immensely. ANY will help. ANY is better than NONE. MOST will be very good. Once in a while you will get a clinker for a counselor. Find a different one when that happens. You might visit your family doctor and have them recommend one for you. At least that will get you started. DON'T WAIT.

[Trolling john]

And forget Dr. Laura, she's celebrity that didn't have much luck in her relationships until she started making a ton of money and could call all the shots. She couldn't even keep her boyfriend from posting her nude shots on the net!!!

[ex-perienced]

along the fishing lines, a counsellor is like a jig, not a crankbait. you are the one that is the key to making it effective, and actually most can work well, some more suited for certain situations. if you are looking to use a crankbait that can do most of the work for you most wont help much.

[Hydro Therapy]

Not only is that my boat handle but I have been a Therapist for 19 years. I can honestly say I have seen it all with 12 years inpatient psych, 7 years on a residential/detox sub acute addictions unit.
You have to ask each other before you see the therapist if you are both invested in your relationship, and if you are able to change the problems in it. Too many times I see people coming to therapy angry, only wanting to get back at each other. Unless you find the right therapist that can shut that stuff down, you leave more angry and swearing to never go back. (Same reason for low prognosis in court ordered sub abuse).
If you want to save it, agree to go to her choice but only if you can both be productive. You both have to agree to find another therapist if you/her don't feel comfortable and/or the therapist can't ask the tough questions. She will need some space. Too many guys try to repair things immediately and end up with a restraining order.
When you call a clinic ask to talk to the director. Tell them you want a therapist who is top notch, can ask the tough questions, and has experience. Once you are in the business long enough, situations don't become any big deal anymore. Years ago I had to do one where a fella told his wife of 27 years he was gay. Tough day but I still see them today and they are doing well. (separately).
One more thing. If there is alcohol/drugs in this picture it has to change. That is a big change for sure but I can guarantee your life will instantly improve. Depends on what you want. If you are serious about a referral I can give you some numbers in your area. It's up to you to find one that works for you and your wife. If you guys don't make it, remember, many, many folks start over and are glad they did. My office number at Lapeer Regional Hospital (Michigan) is (810) 667-5536. But call soon, I'll be in Cleveland in a couple of weeks. Got to keep my own head on straight somehow. Mark Sak

[JIMJOHN]

Been married 35 years. Been in all kinds of counceling, from the Minnesota Instatute Of Relationship Theropy to the church pasture. Not much changed for me with all that counciling. I had a self centered nature. Then I quite drinking and started working the 12 step program of AA. I didnt even want to change, it just happened when I took the action. That was 13 years ago. Today life is great and my wife and I are both unbelivably happy.

Dont know what your core problem is. Need to get to the sourse of the problem. My problem was Me and boose was the solution. Today I am working on me daily, and life is good.

Good luck, JIMJOHN

[GLO]

"Mainly general discussion about general fishing" - see the ground rules, I didn't write them, and believe that things generally related to the sport or sport are allowed for obvious reasons. As for the non-registered "observer", no reason to be personal and certainly nothing "nasty" about my reply. There was a point where this board was rife with political diatribes and advice for the lovelorn, a point which, thankfully, we are long past. Except for occasionally stirring up some of the politicos, my interest in this board for the past three years has consistently been information related to walleye and other types of fishing and it has been outstanding in that regard. I agree with the guy who suggested reading Dr. Laura's book, not because I have or know anything about it, but at least he will be exposed to something written by someone with some professional qualifications, like them or not. If your marriage is in trouble, reaching out on a fishing message board seems like a terrible waste of valuable time. You already have seen posted two very different views on the merits of counseling, both valid, all circumstances are different. You have no context, nor could you acquire it over a message board, to allow you to distinguish those posters' experiences with counseling or know whether their situation is similar to yours. Get help, TAKE SOME INITIATIVE AND JUST DO IT, and good luck.

[GLOisaLOSER]

Talk about a "terrible waste of valuable time"....opening up a post in which the subject is clearly labeled and then b*itching about said subject. Duh.