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Dodge1
02-19-2002, 05:21 AM
Possibly the Very Best Chicken Joke Yet:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is leaning against the headboard, a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit irritated, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

__________________________________________________ ________________


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars
out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon
leaving, she tells her sister, ''When I get there, if I decide to buy the
bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.''

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister
a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, ''I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought
a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home.'' The telegraph operator
explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, ''It's just 99 cents a word.''

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes
that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking fora
few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you to send her the word,
'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his head. ''How is she ever
going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the
word, “comfortable”?

The brunette explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.''

Vickie
02-19-2002, 06:52 PM
Here's one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the raccoon it could be done!


Be careful of those blonde jokes. ;)

Vickie

water_wolf
02-19-2002, 09:16 PM
This man dies suddenly and because of his past he is sent to h ell. Once he realizes where he is he gets real depressed when up comes the devil himself. Devil says to him dont be upset we have a real good time here and I'm sure you will enjoy your stay.

Devil asks him "Do you like to gamble?" The guy says oh yeah sure do. The devil says then your gonna love Mondays. Thats gambling night, bet the house on every hand dont worry about bankruptcy because your dead.

Devil asks do you like to drink? Guy says oh yeah had a biot of a problem up top. Devils says then youll be crazy about Tuesdays. Drink as much as you want dont have to be worried about alchohol poison because your dead. The guy is starting to get excited.

Devil asks" Are you a smoker?" The guy says yep 3 packs a day up top. Devil says then youll like Wednesdays. Best Cuban cigars anything you want, dont have to worry about cancer because your already dead.

Devil asks " Do you do drugs?" The said oh yeah had a real problem with drugs. Devil says well then your gonna love Thursdays. Any drug you want take as much as you want. Dont worry about overdose because your already dead. The guy says you know I think I'm gonna like it around here after all.

Devil asks "Are you gay?" The guys WHOA NO straight as an arrow.
The devil says " OOOOO then your not gonna be to crazy about Fridays.


Rich Ferguson

Hope this dont offend anyone. Just humor.:+

VMS
02-20-2002, 07:05 AM
Received this one today. It's a blond joke, but please do not take offense.

A man walks into the elevator on his way to work. As he steps in, a blond lady in the elevator smiles at the man and says T-G-I-F. The man smiles back and says S-H-I-T.
A bit confused, the lady again smiles heartily and says T-G-I-F. Again, the man replies with a smile S-H-I-T.
By now, the lady is getting mad and again says T-G-I-F, to which the man replies S-H-I-T.
The lady finally gives up, flustered as can be. She smiles once again and says,"Thank goodness it's Friday!!". The man replies with a big smile, "Sorry, Honey, it's Thursday."


Oh...on the idea of TGIF...Why do some blonds have TGIF written on the end of their socks?





Toes Go In First.

Steve