RAMP STORIES FROM MEMORIAL WEEKEND

[BojiHawk]

I have at least 3 pages of stories describing ramp idiots and I'm tired of telling mine and still laughing / crying. Had to get in the pleasure boats and fishing boats and dial in the summer house for the summer. So....who has some as good as mine?? I saw a small fire from what looked like an overloaded rectifier.... Which was the least funny. But what I saw most was the following:

1.) Lack of planning
2.) Lack of respect for others
3.) Lack of driving skill
4.) Impatience (that was me..LOL)
5.) L.O.F.T. (Lack Of ____ing Talent)

Now...I'm not alone. I want some good tales of missing plugs, dogs overboard, tie downs left on (by far the funniest one I saw). Let me have it. I need to know these things happen outside of NW Iowa. :-)

[Unlogged T-Mac]

LOL!

Man, I have a million ramp stories, but today is a busy one and I don't have time to start in on them.

Suffice to say... Back when I owned a Reort with a fairly long launch ramp... we had a strict rule. WE launched and loaded all boats with our truck. (4x4 with hitch on the front).
This saved about 100 hours of wasted ramp time, every saturday and sunday thoughout the season.
LOL! But, even doing all of them ourselves...we still screwed up once in a while, too.

[abens]

I was on Rathbun and saw a pleasure boater leave the lower unit down on hi I/O.............CLANKY & GRINDY noises soone followed along with alot of STOP!!!! noises.

I have to say I did see one in Templar Park over the IGL opener when one guy trailored his boat with the anchor still out. Also many clanky noises when they pulled up the ramp

[Reels]

This weekend on the Mississippi River, there was a knuckle head with a 24' pleasure boat yelling in the channel to have everyone move out of his way because he was having problems. Going way too fast for the no wake zone he bumped into a few boats yelling move, move!

Once he got out of the channel he was sputtering trying to get the trim down and in Neutral with the motor revving about 3k. I asked him if he was having trouble, why would he go out in the main river? The guy told me to "F^^^ Off" I shrugged my shoulders and went on about my way.

About a half hour later here is the knuckle head floating down the river sounding his air horn looking for a tow... We laughed and waved wishing him the best of luck...

:banging:

[KP]

The owner of the 30 foot Baja that drank too much that hot day and ends up puking over the side as he approaches the launch ramp. None of the 5 other guys knows how to operate the boat and are in no better condition to do anything. The boat has now hit the launch pad and the rear end drifts over into another boat, and is now blocking two of four launch lanes. People, including me, are scrambling to get control of this guys boat yelling for the idiots on board to toss a rope out so we can pull it against the pier and free up the blocked lane. Of course these guys are stumbling all over themselves looking for something they are too drunk to understand while the driver resumes puking. Finally we're in the water up to our chest trying to push the boat over, and avoid the floating puke, while another guy jumps on board to find the ropes. Only to be punched in the face buy one of the drunk guys. THAT'S IT!!! CLOBBERING TIME!!!

Needless to say I won't be gripping any fishing pole in my right hand too comfortably for a few days but it was worth it to take out some frustration on these jerks. They got arrested, boat impounded, and all is right with the world again. Until next weekend!

Another typical weekend experience at the Chain-O-Lakes Sate Park launch in Northern Illinois.

[BojiHawk]

The winner thus far is KP. Gotta love a good ramp beat down.

If you ever meet people of this "caliber" at a ramp, there is a way to insure you don't go to the clink over a bashing of the deserved. I ran into a tough guy drunk trying to launch...he suffered from L.O.F.T. After numuerour offers of help and encouragement trying to save his wife from further loss of dignity the man (after 20 minutes reached the right combination of sobriety, fuel flow, the removing of the ties downs...and then the safety chain, and battery charge...don't forget the oil) he launched that monster 16' Alumacraft...with a nice resounding "&*^%&% YOU!!!!" as he drove away.

Can you imagine the look on this guys face when he got back to the ramp and pulled forward and his trailer fell off??? Boats don't trail worth a dam when you're missing your ball hitch.

If you are a pro at launching, remember patience. If you are an idiot, remember to accept help when offered. If you're neither, just don't forget the bait.

[Binks61]

Hate to discuss this topic just in case it creates bad mojo...But as I came in to the launch at Connea I was PO'd to see a boat tied right up at the ramp with a women and two dog in it. Thats when I noticed the bilge going full throttle and a guy running from the parking lot...Plug in hand. Nice jump from the wall!

Apparently women and dogs go down with the ship.

[Notme]

abens, was that the Bridgeview ramp at Rathburn. I was at that ramp Saturday and saw a guy unhook his Cobolt ski boat from his roller trailer before he backed in. He only got about 5 feet down the ramp when his boat slid off. The lower unit took out a piece of concret where it hit.

[ERIE REBEL]

KPstill has it.}(

[BojiHawk]

These stories are funny. But (true story here), the ramps in Boji on the 3 big summer holidays can really be entertaining...One of the most comical things to do is figure out which ramp is most protected from the wind that morning. Then watch every single person in Boji get the same brilliant and original idea about putting in there. Now envision a 180 degree wind switch with a nice thunderhead. Next, start car after putting boat on hoist and FLY to that ramp. Park in a far off spot as to not get in the way and bring some umbrellas and a couple of koozies of beer. Now just sit back and watch the fun. This stuff is a guranteed skeg-draggin, kid beatin, trailer jackin, wife yellin, finger flippin, fist shakin, dock bashin, rim scrapin, jaw punchin festival of brotherly love. I can't wait till the 4th of July. Let's just all pray for a surprise southerly t-storm around 9 PM before the fireworks.

[abens]

It was Honey Creek

[capnlee]

After reading these stories, I am remininded of why I now ALWAYS stay home on holiday weekends. I am fortunate to have a job that affords me enough leave time to take days off during the week, and that I live in a state where the lakes hardly ever freeze and I can fish all through the winter. You'll seldom find me on the water between Memorial and Labor Days anymore.

The last time I went out on a holiday weekend, I was with a friend and his dad. We camped at the lake, and while we were sleeping someone came into our camp and took our tackle boxes and rods and reels that were just outside the camper. They were selective enough to leave a couple of cheap rods and reels behind. They were even so bold as to untie the cover on the boat and try to steal the batteries. Fortunately they were in locking comparments. One thing I learned that weekend: if you are ever robbed while away from home, contact the police and fill out a report immediately. If you have homeowners or renters insurance, you are covered. My friends dad is an insurance agent and knew this, so I did recover some of my losses. It still took me a couple of years to completely restock all that I lost. The story does not end here.

After a quick trip to the tackle shop to get a couple of rods, reels, hooks and plastic worms we were off to the lake. We were getting ready to back down the ramp, and this guy with a glorious, shiny and very large boat begins to back in next to us and of course has no idea how to back his trailer in. He sees and saws back and forth for a good twenty minutes refusing offers of help from several people, but finally gets it backed in...crooked, taking up three lanes on the ramp. He finally gets launched, and we are on our way. We head accross the lake and lo and behold we get into the fish and they are biting hot and heavy. About this time we hear someone blowing their horn frantically. We go around the point and who do we find? It's the clown from the boat ramp. His boat has stalled and he can't get it to start. Being the good samaritans we are, we offer to tow him back and get soaked and miserable from the spray of our boat. We tow him to the marina, and he decides to put gas in his boat. What do you know, it started. He's underway and disappears without a thank you, a nod, a wink or even a go to h#%&. A potentially perfect day completely shot. Oh well.

One other thing on the insurance--TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR TACKLE AND KEEP INVENTORY! You will never be able to remember all the lures and gadgets if your boxes get stolen. It's kind of hard to come up with a list off the top of your head while filling out a police report, and it is very easy to have a couple thousand dollars packed into a tackle box. Don't expect to be able to convince the insurance company of this unless you have it documented.

Anyway, I stayed home this weekend, worked in the yard and grilled burgers with the family and I didn't have to put up with any thieves or idiots.

All that being said, I really rather would have been fishing.

[bridgeman]

Watched a guy Monday afternoon pull his bassboat out of the water with his ficht 150 still running and slowly drive all the around the parking lot to pull into the space he started from, took a good 2 minutes. Bet he'll need a new impeller. Also saw 3 huge women in a 12' jon boat trying to cross the lake in the fog with a 5 hp briggs and straton outboard, the boat was only floating 4 inches out of the water. They all had what looked like childrens life preservers around their necks...insane

[groundhog]

Well, it's not a ramp story, but my Memorial Day experience qualifies on all five of the required criterion... Instead, my experience involved open water trolling.

This weekend I had the pleasure of having a guy by the name of Craig Miller (name on his motor) in a 20 ft. green Champion deep-V run up on my lines FROM BEHIND ME. That's right, he drove up on my tail until he was between the boards on either side of my boat, and then proceeded to cut accross the three boards on the left side of my boat. Fortunately, I was able to pull my lines in time to avoid a mess.

Mr. Miller never offered any gesture of apology. Someone ought to explain to Mr. Miller that being a "professional" requires more than just putting your name on your motor and fishing a few tournaments.

My suggestions to Mr. Miller would be to read boating regulations regarding right-of-way when overtaking another boat, and to practice better boat control and common sense courtesy before fishing his next tournament or even spending any more time around other boats on the water.

[bigstick]

Two years ago I was at woodland resort at devils lake when I saw a carload of Hmong fishermen with a 17' lund at the access I thought to my self nice upgrade as I usually see them fishing from shore.I went out to the main lake to wait for another boat fishing with me and noticed the usually landlocked Hmong fishermen with there new boat coming out,The motor workin really hard and going nowhere this was a 17'lund wheel boat with a 75 HP but hardly moving as they got closer I could hear the driver tell 2 of the passengers to get in front, well thats what I thought he said as 2 of them got in the front (I don't speak Hmong) but to no avail bigger wake but no speed gain and no boat on plane...... But wait whats that I notice on the front of the boat could it be!!! yes it was the trailer tongue hmmmmmmmmmm I thought to my self what a timesaver just back in the boat till it floats and unhook the trailer! And then I saw the downfall of this ingenious new concept when you let off the gas with 2 men in thr front THE BOAT WILL DIVE LIKE A SUB! I now know how to say OH *#@% in Hmong . We helped them back to shore and told them how we appreciated their time a effort in attempt of cutting edge boating.... I still take mine off the trailer...

[same here]

I saw the same thing this weekend....brand new pleasure boat with an I/O...pulling out of the water...lower unit all the way down...grinding on the concrete and noise all the way up the ramp and screaming hotties trying to slow this dude down...finally they did...funny!

[BojiHawk]

Yup....know that one very well. Had the same thing happen to me. Guy wound about 100 feet of braid around his trolling motor and freaked out on me....as he trolled behind me at 40'- absolutely no further. Scooped up the line on a shallow thin fin. Idiot.

And what is the deal with depth hogs??? We have been contour trolling a lot on area reservoirs this time of year with the walleys still relating to depth more than feed it seems. And some of these people RUFUSE to move so much as a foot off that depth when coming at someone. East to West.....West to East....starboard or port side, they are not budging. Then they get out planer boards.....which is real smart considering the entire dam face is 1/2 mile with shallow bays on each end....I love using boards but man, you need a little room to work them effectively. Just seems to me that people are very much all about themselves anymore. I've been operating boats and fishing since I was 12 and every year, people get less and less considerate. Maybe it's the proliferation of financing and people being able to buy boats, but one thing is for certain: being able to afford one does not mean they can operate them. I heard someone say that 5 minutes is the most time it should take someone at a ramp. WOW! If you have ever sat in a truck at a ramp waiting to load, next time time yourself sitting there. 5 minutes is an eternity.

[groundhog]

Boji, I agree, there just isn't any excuse for moves like that. I mean, if everyones' lines end up tangled, nobody gets to fish those contours anyways, ya know? What's more, is that in this case there was a TON of water in on both sides of me that is productive in terms of effectively trolling structure, so there was no reason to follow me so closely. He probably just didn't know the water that he was fishing in, so he decided to follow a boat that looked like they knew what they were doing... combine that with poor driving skills and lack of common sense and you've got a recipe for trouble. Either that or he was just being a jerk.

One thing's for certain: If you are what you eat, I'm sure that guy is pretty familiar with what stupid tastes like.

[BojiHawk]

Anecdotal evidence as far as my experience is concerned is overwhelming. I ran into about 4 depth hogs that thought they had rights to about 10% of that lake. Another gentleman and his wife were facing the same problem. So I upsized my cranks and got 3' more water under me and ran a bit further off the bottom and really nailed them for about 4 passes. Until every one of those idiots followed suit and pushed me off 12' also. I gave one decidedly close call to their boards and got some remarks that PO's me pretty good but fishing angry is rediculous. Like your wife declaring a sex free honeymoon.

But, when you see a group of boats close, I love to go bigger and just to the outside of them - deeper is my first choice. Nothing better than being the johnny-come-lately with the net out after 5 minutes. :-) But eventually I think any fish gets tired of the commotion above them and moves. Most that day were slammin hits. You almost wonder if those fish weren't so agitated by having to move so much they finally lashed out. Like fish...like fisherman I guess.

[groundhog]

Boji, I could not agree more with everything you said!!! I do it all the way you do it... If fishing isn't fun, you've gotta change your approach. I never fish the crowds (it usually ends up being boats fishing boats anyways), and there's nothing more satisfying than making a deep run outside a pack of boats and pulling a few nice fish right in front of them all...

Two weekends ago I had a guy trying to anchor in the wind, and he set up and drifted right into my boat not once, not twice, but THREE times! He was nice enough and offered an apology, but I had to make a wise crack... I asked him if he'd just like to rent some space on my boat instead... we both laughed, and thankfully I think he got the hint and went elsewhere... Unfortunately, we put 5 in the box at that spot until he showed up running his motor through there trying to get his anchor to hook up... We were fishing a small reef, and the fish moved out of there and scattered due to all the commotion. Oh well, at least we got 5 in that spot and things didn't get ugly.

Sex free honeymoon, LOL. Good one!

[BojiHawk]

Good for you. I would say we should go fishing together, but we'd end up in the middle of the lake trying to outside each other! LOL.

One more thing just to make sure I am talking to my lip rippin twin. I used to keep my net in a vertical holder right in front of the transom well with my rods. And I would leave it extended for use with my long trolling rods. Well...you know those long nets... I'm pretty sure that seeing that thing come down from 1/4 mile away is like launching a blimp with a scrolling marque sign above the boat that says "Large fish being caught here. Please join me. The tranquility is killing me." Did that on Big Spirit pulling plugs last June...did the old "get outside the noise" approach and didn't care if I caught anything other than some rays. But after the second fish netted...well...you know that credit card commercial where people start chasing the guy with battle axes and swords screaming and yelling? Well, that would have been a welcome relief. I just don't get how people will fish and fish and fish a spot for 3 days, watch the temp rise 5 degrees and veg. emerge, and still think that 2 weeks later the fish will be there. Then, instead of using their freaking heads and hitting flats, deeper adjacent structure...heck anything. Part of finding where fish are usually begins with finding where their not.

Long story short: I keep my net on the floor and unless she's a hog, I stay low and by my engine with it. Probably a no brainer for all the season tourney pros here. I guess I went for years not netting all that many fish. You hate to be a fish nazi, but it's usually the parasites that join you that are unfriendly and selfish in tactics. On the ice it's a bit different. I normally bring enough chili and chowder. Cook up wind of the hot bite....then wait for an invite!!! Bacon and eggs will work but doesn't carry as far.

[groundhog]

Well, I guess we can't be the same on every aspect. I'm a flag flying member of the upright net society. In the interest of keeping the dance floor clean on an 18 ft boat, I keep the net up in the air to keep it out of the way, and ready at hand. I know that can attract attention, but I don't mind the compromise on that item if there is one. I haven't noticed any extra unwanted attention as a result of this practice, but maybe I'm naive...

Still want to fish with me out in the middle of the lake in a competition to get 'outside'?! ;)

It is funny how many people are willing to fish a dead pattern... I love hearing about a "hot spot" on the news or reading about the "fishing report" in the local paper, as it's always a sure bet that there will be a crowd there for a week after that not catching a thing... Hearing about a 'pattern' via one of those sources or at the local pub means that it's already over, but it never fails to bring a smile to my face when I see the boats stacked up in those areas with a bunch of guys staring at their lines with confused and/or bored looks on their faces. Good stuff.

[Dacotah Eye]

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :cheers:

[erie addict]

My grand father grew up fishing Lake Erie. He was very fond of saying "if you read about it or get hear say about it, it is probably over".
It is funny to see the pack fishermen and then meet them at the ramp while you are cleaning your limit.

[Speedy]

Last year my buddy and I were doing boat chores after we had taken out, this guy comes driving by with his 16ft lund on the trailer and 40HP Mercury, I think it was, purring like a kitten. We yelled at him, trying to get his attention to warn him, he looked at us like were the biggest you know whats on the planet. The last I saw of him he was headed west on Highway 9, the Merc, still purring like a kitten. It was an older rig and we decided he was trying to blow her up so he would have an excuse for his wife to buy a new engine.

[laker taker2]

Last spring I had just finsihed loading as a wall of pelting rain was clearly getting closer. This guy comes running by me with no shoes and jumps in his truck. Backs up really fast almost takes out a kid on the way as his buddy drives the boat onto the trailer. Driver gets out to winch her up.............truck in reverse or neutral! It went full on under the water in no time and with the boat still hooked to the trailer, it spun the boat around until the motor hit the dock. The dude on the winch got out of the way and slipped on the wet concrete while his buddy sat in the boat with the look of "what the f*ck just happened?" I mean at that point, what do you do?????? I finsihed up and as it started to rain I was on my way to offer a tow when the local game warden strolled over to see what was happening. So I went on my way and read about it in the paper the following day. The article said alcohol was a factor but I don't know if they charged the poor guy. From what I remember it was a nice new truck too............
dufous!