Best APRIL FOOL's JOKE

[WallyHunter15 (IL)]

Im look'n for a really good April Fools day joke that I can use on my parents. Any good storys or ideas that I can do would be greatlly appreciated. Thanx in advance.

WallyHunter15 (IL)

[bigpoppa]

Tell them you are gonna be a daddy. Works best if you aren't married yet.

[Don__SD]

A buddy of mine call me this moring and of course throwing his voice he sayed he was John from the Phiser sp. company and he was calling on behalf of my wife who call him requesting him to call me about needing some Viagura. I was just about pulled in until I looked a the calander. I they said everything was fine and my cocksafloppin went away.

[mike2]

A little late for April fools, but this works great. You know the spray arm on your sink. Just take a rubber band and wrap the thumb trigger so it is all the way down. Make sure it is turned so when someone turns on the water, it will be aiming at their face. The first time my daughter did this to me I turned the water on to get a glass of water, got sprayed in the face, turned it off quickly, couldn't figure out what just happened so I turned it on again and got sprayed again. The worst part was that my daughter and my wife were watching. My daughter was lying on the floor laughing, and my wife peed her pants.

Mike

[mtwalleye]

I had some fun a few years back during an El Nino winter (when it seemed every story in the paper had to do with El Nino) by running a front-page story in the Billings Gazette on April 1 on how El Nino was tough on the snow snakes. I even bought some little rubber snakes, spray painted them white, and had a Gazette photographer take a picture to go with the story. And I found some real wildlife biologists to comment on the situation.

I was deluged by calls and e-mails the next day. It was a hoot. My favorite was a teacher who asked her elementary school class if any of them had seen snow snakes before? A bunch of the kids raised their hands and said they had.

I still had a copy of the story stuffed in my computer. I'll do a copy and paste it below -- mark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walleyes Unlimited
www.walleyesunlimited.com


Warm El Nino winter
tough on Snow Snakes

By MARK HENCKEL
Gazette Outdoor Editor

In yet another legacy of El Nino weather this winter, Snow Snakes have been suffering and dying all across the Eastern Montana prairie.

It's a far different situation from last year, when Snow Snakes thrived during the deep snows and severe cold of the winter of '96-97.

But this year, the situation is so severe that El Nino may yet be blamed for the species' placement on the Endangered Species List.

Snow Snakes are among the rarest, shyest and most secretive of the state's reptile species.

During the summer months, they hibernate in the permanent snow fields and glaciers of Montana's high mountains. Then, as winter arrives and snow blankets the prairies below, the Snow Snakes emerge from their dens and migrate down the mountain slopes and out across the prairies.

In most winters, a blanket of snow hides this white-scaled Snake easily during its active winter months. But in winters like this one, with little snow to hide in, the Snakes are vulnerable.

Like so many other natural disasters this winter, biologists are blaming El Nino for the Snake's difficulties.

El Nino's warm waters, far out in the Pacific Ocean, altered the global weather patterns, bringing almost no snow and warm weather to Montana for too much of the winter.

The winter simply wasn't cold enough, or snowy enough, to protect them.

As a result, Snow Snakes that migrated out onto the prairie fell victim to hawks, eagles, foxes, coyotes and assorted other predators.

"They're real vulnerable to bald eagles, and golden eagles will pick them off, too, in a winter like this one," said Arnold Dood, endangered species biologist with the Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks at Bozeman.

Probing the issue further, he added, "With their white color, they stick out against the brown earth in a snowless winter. They need the snow to hide in.

"Now that we have some black-footed ferrets back, they could present a problem for the Snow Snakes, too, although ferrets are actively mostly at night and Snow Snakes are active mostly during the day," Dood said.

Reproduction by the Snakes will also be damaged severely. In fact, this El Nino winter will nullify the effects of generally excellent winter conditions enjoyed by the species last year.

"We had a great year in '96-97," Dood said. "We had some real good production and it looked like Snow Snake populations were on the rise. Now, we had to have a winter like this one. It's just too bad."

It's too bad, too, because Snow Snakes are so shy that few are ever spotted by people, even in the best of winters, and fewer still cause any problems to man.

"One of the questions we hear a lot, is about their aggressiveness," said Charlie Eustace, regional wildlife manager for Fish, Wildlife and Parks in Billings. "In truth, they're not particularly aggressive. For the most part, they give man the cold shoulder - that's figuratively speaking. Most Snakes are actually a little light in the shoulder department."

Lives have never been lost to Snow Snakes, he added. But some bites have been reported.

"If cornered or backed into a snow drift, Snow Snakes will defend themselves and their young by spitting and hissing sleet," Eustace said. "If you continue to push them, they will bite, inflicting a nasty wound which resembles frostbite."

Federal authorities have yet to decide whether or not to add Snow Snakes to the Endangered Species List. But at the state level, at least one research biologist feels that some action needs to be taken.

"We're going to have to get a team on this. We're going to have to form a Snow Snake committee," said Terry Lonner, retiring research bureau chief with Fish, Wildlife and Parks at Bozeman.

On the makeup of the committee, Lonner said that a broad-based approach was probably the best, with many disciplines represented to better assess actions to be taken in the future. "We may have to get a lawyer or two on it, too," he said. "They're accustomed to dealing with other Snakes."

Lonner added that the stories about El Nino are likely to continue on and on, as ripples from this warm El Nino winter in Montana continue to spread.

Other Montana species that have been affected, he said, include the rare Snowshoe Mosquito, which has suffered in the lack of snow, and the Pebble-eyed Perch, which stands to benefit.

"I was taught about the Snowshoe Mosquito by my uncles over at Butte. They're real good for bait," Lonner said. "You put tiny pieces of cotton on the willows in winter and they land on the cotton and become entangled with their snowshoe feet. You just pluck them off, put them on a size 22 hook and fish with them. Pebble-eyed perch live and hide in rocky creeks that have no water. With no snow this winter, it's going to be a great Pebble-eyed Perch season before the summer is over."

Looking to the future for Snow Snakes, it appears that the species can only hope that next winter brings a return to more normal conditions which will bring an end to their suffering and death on the prairie.

Looking to the future for the rest of us, we can only hope for a return to more normal conditions, future prosperity for the Snow Snakes, and an end to El Nino stories sometime very soon.


Mark Henckel is the April Fool Editor of the Billings Gazette. He can be contacted by telephone by calling: 406-657-1395, by e-mail at: henckel@billingsgazette.com, or by hollering his name out your back door real, real loud.

[JohnF]

Thanks for letting me relive that one. This must be passed through the daughter handbook. I even did the "get sprayed twice, same price" bit. My daughter waited half a day to catch me with that.

I know she'll try it again...

John "just a matter of time 'till wet again"

[Tom B]

That showed some fabulous creativity....

My wife took the cake about 12 years ago. As I was leaving for work, she told me that she had found another women that she thought would be a great 3-way participant (just about every guys fantasy.) Right, I didn't believe it at first, but she called me throughout the day and added more clues and answered all my questions perfectly. Then, when I thought I heard the "mystery woman" pulling in the driveway, Bonnie said, "April Fools." I have NEVER been so disappointed/deflated in my entire life.

Bonnie still has fun telling the story.

Tom B

[Erie Drifter]

I've seen some of them snowshoe mosquitos in Michigans UP, they get so big up there they can stand flat footed and @#%! a turkey.

Bill W. (War-N-Peace-ch 68)

[Tom]

tell the parents you never plan on leaving home since you like it so much, that should do it.




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[Tracy]

Mtwalleye,
I think we finally found the creator of the infamous DHMO.org website! Had to be you! Great story.

Tracy