I have a tough problem!! Please respond?

[kuip]

I have a 1 year old 1850 Tyee. My father-in-law just called me and asked me if he could use my boat for a 3 day fishing event which I can not attend. He is very tough on anything that he has ever owned but is also a man of means who I know would fix anything that were broken on the boat.
I know that it takes a lot of guts to ask to borrow someones boat, especially since it's almost brand new. I know that I have to let him use it since he has done much for my family financially. How would you handle this? Thanks, kuip

[TJ]

If you know that he knows how to handle the boat and you're sure he will fix anything he breaks, go ahead and let him borrow it. You should also ask him to 'take it easy' on the equipment - just once, so he knows you're concerned. Think about the goodwill this jesture will build. ;)

Now, if he starts making a habit of this, you'll have to start telling him you have plans to go fishing on the days he wants to borrow it.

[relax]

it is only hardware dude. if he has a proble, he will rectify the situation. let him know you are happy to let him use it.

[muley hunter]

Since he has helped you out you will probably have to let him use it. First thing that I would do is take him out to a lake or river and show him how you want this boat treated. How to unload and load the boat, and how not to scratch the boat on the dock etc. etc. Take anything that you do not want him to use out of the boat. Also fill the oil reserve with oil to prevent any possible problems with that end of the deal. I understand the complications with this, just make sure he understands how you want him to use the boat.

[Heye5]

Tell him you'll return his daughter in the same condition as he returns your boat! LOL.
HEYE5

[samIam]

If he were a competent, skilled, experienced boat operator, I'd let him use it. Now that you mention it, how much dough does he have? Maybe we could reach some sort of arrangement. You know, he buys the boat and I keep it for him until he wants to use it...that sort of thing.

Does he have any other daughters?

[Atomic Eye]

Before you loan it to him, make sure that you've completed your break-in warranty period so you know that the motor has been broke-in according to MFR's requirements. I think most of the new 2002 motors have e-chips in memory that record rpms VS hours usage to verify what you did to your motor? Thanks.

Atomic Eye (New Mexico) -- "Gone Fission!" ~~~<}}}:>

[stevefellegy]

Don't burn this bridge........you never know when you will need his help. Or your wife might be claiming the boat in divorce court. lol Wish him luck fishin' as he drives away.
Ask your insurance man about the situation.

Steve Fellegy
#49

[BlackSilver]

Hey, it's just a boat. I wish my father-in-law was around to ask to borrow mine.

This is a no-brainer. Let him use it.

SET the hook!!!

Hans/MN

[PJM]

kuip

It's like my pick up truck, when a relative of my wife's want to use it,I am not to happy about but blood is thicker then water and I have to live with her. The relatives only use it for minor things not for towing, but not everyone treats thing the same. But the boat is a different story because I am the only user of that rig.

[Dear Gabby]

You can bet your best rod and reel that your wife probably has offered him the use of the boat, and that he should just ask you. Not only allow him to use it, sound enthusiastic about it. You will be letting them both down if you say no.

He will probably thank you but also thank your wife in private numerous times. Your marital relations will get a big boost and you will make his day and assist your wife in proving she picked the right guy!

[Erie Drifter]

Give him the keys and tell him "If you hurta my boat you gonna sleep wit da fishes"

Bill W. (War-N-Peace-ch 68)

[Fishing Junky]

[curt quesnell]

Relax,

I was wondering what I would do in the same situation. I hope I
would do what you suggested.

I dont think someone should ask to use your boat but, where you
have the chance to help someone who has helped you I think you
should let em.

Good Job Relax

Curt Quesnell

[Skeeter]

As long as you have good insurance paid up let him use it. Sounds like he might kinda deserve it anyway. ALWAYS remember "One hand washes the other". In the long run you will come out ahead. Look what he gave you?? I know you took it! hahaha

[bountyhunter]

whats your problem? it's only a boat ,and you said he's helped you out ,repay him be glad you can help him .who no's next week YOU MITE NEED HIM .jim

[Pitts]

I wish that my inlaws would ask me to use something once in a while so I can return the favors they have done for me in the last 20 years.
I know also that he would not be hard on my boat if he borrowed it and would also fix anything that happened to it.
I had a bigger delima last year when a friend at work ask if I would like to be included in an anual trip to Rainy lake in august for a week long stay and I made plans to do so. Then 2 weeks before the trip one of his buddys that had a boat backed out and that left them with only 1 boat for 5 guys and the next day I get scheduled to work 3 of my days off in that week and no one else can work it. I ended up letting him pull the boat up there and use it confident his character was top of the line when it came to fixing it if he hurt anything.
I took him out and showed him the how too's on everything and let him go.
He had no problems and I still showed up on thurs and fished for free the rest of the week because I had let him use it. He picked up the tab for the gas, bait, and my portion of the lodging, and quite a few cocktails when we were out on the town in the evenings.
Needless to say I am going there again this August for the whole week and we will have a great time doing so thanks to him.


Pitts

[Marble Eyes]

They're two things I don't lone out...
My wife and My Coondog.

On all other stuff, I just show him how to use what he needs and hope for the best. In my case, My Inlaw is the one with all the toys. He has never said no, so I can hardly be any different with toys I have.

[Dden]

I have to agree with most of the posts. Let him have it and make sure he knows the basics before he goes out there. Its only a boat and stuff like this really comes back on you later if you don't let him use it.

[danerisfre@aol.com]

> I have a 1 year old 1850 Tyee. My father-in-law just
>called me and asked me if he could use my boat for a 3 day
>fishing event which I can not attend. He is very tough on
>anything that he has ever owned but is also a man of means
>who I know would fix anything that were broken on the boat.
> I know that it takes a lot of guts to ask to borrow
>someones boat, especially since it's almost brand new. I
>know that I have to let him use it since he has done much
>for my family financially. How would you handle this?
> Thanks, kuip

[Danerisfree@aol.com]

Lemme try this again..lol. A popular radio talk show host named Bruce Williams often says,"don't love something that can't love you back". Well when he speaks to material possessions I'm not sure if he totally understands the bond between a man and his fishing boat, but I'd say hand the guy the keys and let him see the tears in your eyes as he pulls out of the driveway. That should provide him with enough motivation to treat your boat like his daughter. If you don't beat on her he might not beat on it. Good luck, Dayn

[jackpine]

I can relate to your problem. Remind him to be careful and let him use it. Rewards come in many ways. Your little Lady will be more understanding than she ever has been before, copish.

Jackpine

[kuip]

OK! Here's how I handled it. I called and told him that I felt bad that he had to ask me because I should have offered it when I knew he needed some help. I also told him that I would throw in my favorite rod for him to use that was guaranteed to catch fish. Thanks for all the imput.
I will feel like I have just sent my firstborn to an abusive child care center. LOL not really. I will have a chat with my boat before he takes it to make sure she is on her best behavior! kuip

[Lund AnglerMJ]

I'm not sure I'd do the same as you,but just let him know your boat is a special part of you.Take the best care he could with it.No matter what anyone owe's me,I'd not ask a thing in return. (Just me.)Give freely.It feel's so much better.When you get a return, it feel's better too.

[KIMRAY]

WELL, I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.... AND I'M PROUD OF THE RESPONCES YOU HAVE GOTTEN, I REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD BE THE MINORITY. YES, YOU'LL LET HIM USE IT, AND BE GLAD YOU DID.

[The Eyes_Have it]

If my father in law was like most of the people on this board i would gladly let him use my boat...........
But since he isn't i would gladly let him use the boat after I increased the insurance on the boat and then drilled several large holes in the bottom.....hehehe

[RiverRat]

EyesHaveIt ...you and I must have married sisters because my father-in-law sounds like yours. To make it worse, he is an anti-gun liberal who supported Clinton and the Gore court-election-challenges whole-heartedly. Can he ride in your boat after you have "prepped" it????

[LYNCHMOB JUST SAY NO]

> I have a 1 year old 1850 Tyee. My father-in-law just
>called me and asked me if he could use my boat for a 3 day
>fishing event which I can not attend. He is very tough on
>anything that he has ever owned but is also a man of means
>who I know would fix anything that were broken on the boat.
> I know that it takes a lot of guts to ask to borrow
>someones boat, especially since it's almost brand new. I
>know that I have to let him use it since he has done much
>for my family financially. How would you handle this?
> Thanks, kuip

[Skeeter]

Kuip that is funny! Talk to her nice, then run down and make sure the insurance is paid up. lololol

[VMS]

What if your boat has been named "My second wife"? :-)


That's how mine is referred to.

Steve

[johnp034]

Be thankful you have a father-in-law that has something in common with you. The only thing I had in common with mine was the strong dislike we had for each other. In his mind,anything that costs money,except for food (and other necessary items to support life)are a waste. So me, being a die hard fisherman and hunter, was looked at as a fool. The only time we talked was to argue about the foolish things I spent my money on and why his daughter was stupid enough to marry a spend thrift like me?
Let him use the boat, I'm sure he'll take care of it, and if he doesn't, chalk it up as experience. If mine was still around, even though there was no love lost between us, i'd let him use mine, just for the simple reason that he would have to ask me in a nice way for once!

Johnp034

}>

[hgmeyer]

Well guys...this (family, friends...my son in particular) is why I kept my "old" boat...She is in good shape mechanically...has all the bells and whistles...2 depth finders, one with LORAN-C, two trolling motors...electric start...livewell...cover...good trailer...Dealer was only going to give me a couple of thousand for her...she caught me a lot of fish...kept her...and she brings joy to all who use her...And, mine stays with me....

[tj1n]

This is definitely one that hits home for alot of us...and as someone else mentioned it has alot to do with the relationship you have with the inlaw or "outlaw" (my case.)

My wifes parents are both divorced and remarried. My wifes mother and her new HSB could use anything I own, including my motor home, boat, snowmobiles, etc....

However, my wifes father and new wife --- I'm to the point that these people shouldn't even be allowed in my house when I'm home, let alone use anything I own. Yep, you guessed it....her dad is the type that is continually asking me to use my belongings. I'm getting tired of giving excuses....it's time he is made aware of my thoughts for him. This guy is a staunch democrat and a drunk...no need to describe him any further this paints the picture.

Best of luck, if you trust you relations in slightest...as everyone else has mentioned it's an opportunity to only further strengthen your ties and it will be beneficial to you in the long run.

Travis J.

[ufda]

I hate to say relax...its only a boat, because in the back of my mind I am saying to myself, "what do you mean..,.ONLY a boat?" But, my son and son-in-law both borrow my fishing boat (1750 Crestliner Sportfish with 90 hp. Honda) to drive 2.5 hours accross the desert and mountains to go water skiing with friends. I don't like it. I don't like waterskiers. And, one time one of them brought it back and they had backed it into a concrete wall at the ramp and damaged the rope and rubber bumper on the rear corner. Really tightened my jaw. I don't think they saw the damage, so I said nothing thank God. I went to the dealer and found the new bumper (which I could install myself with two screws) and it cost me a lousy $12. For a stinking $12 I could have hurt a relationship the means more to me than any fishing boat. All I'm saying is one has to step back and have some prespective even if that's not easy at the time. People, particularly good people in your life are more important than things.