Backwater Eddy
01-13-2001, 03:43 PM
Faced with all those mysterious terms that are so common today, the electronically challenged are bound to feel lost in cyberspace.
But worry not; here are the definitions of some common terms to start you on the road to computer literacy.
COMPUTER: 1) A $2,000 piece of equipment used to replace th $1.99 notebook you kept your important hunting and fishing addresses in.
2) The financial equivalent of four good deer rifles, forty fishing rods, or a down payment on an RV.
DOWNTIME: Any period when you aren't hunting or fishing.
BOOT: A leather contrivance worn on the foot to attract water and cold.
ONLINE: The brief period between when a fish is hooked and when it is lost.
NETWORK: What you have to resort to when you can't catch a fish online.
DEFAULT DRIVE: Getting stuck providing transportation for your hunting buddies. The probability of becoming a default driver increases tremendously if you have a new 4x4.
COBOL: The sound made by the transmission of your new 4x4 as it hits a rock while you're serving as the default driver.
HARDWARE: Clothing worn by an ice fisherman shortly after he emerges from the hole he fell into.
CURSOR: Name given to individuals who blurt out expletives in moments of extreme disappointment while fishing or hunting.
JOYSTICK: Affectionate name given to any fishing rod you actually catch a fish with.
MEMORY: 1) Something you once had.
MEMORY: 1) Something you once had. :)
MEMORY: 2) A mysterious force that can turn an 8-inch Walleye into a 5-pounder, or 5 hours of sleet and freezing rain into a beautiful day in a duck blind.
MOUSE: The "nothing" your gun dog barks at hysterically at 3 A.M.
MOUSE PAD: The condo the mouse built in the new down vest you left in the corner of the garage after your last hunting trip.
SOFTWARE: Your favorite shirt after you've worn it for several years.
SHAREWARE: Something you needn't worry about happening to your software, but will when your girlfriend takes a liking to favorite shirt.
VIRUS: Disease you pretend to have when you call in sick to go fishing. The duration of the virus will depend on how good the fishing is. One such virus was responsible for the death of my Mom, 6 times.
VGA: Very Good Act. What you need to put on in front of your boss and co-workers when you return to work after calling in sick with a virus.
WEB: The name for the knotted mess of fishing line your son or daughter asks you to straighten out moments into opening day of trout season.
:D
(Not sure of were this first came from but I thought it was worth a post.)
Any more we can come up with? Remember kid's read this board too!
BE.........><,,>
But worry not; here are the definitions of some common terms to start you on the road to computer literacy.
COMPUTER: 1) A $2,000 piece of equipment used to replace th $1.99 notebook you kept your important hunting and fishing addresses in.
2) The financial equivalent of four good deer rifles, forty fishing rods, or a down payment on an RV.
DOWNTIME: Any period when you aren't hunting or fishing.
BOOT: A leather contrivance worn on the foot to attract water and cold.
ONLINE: The brief period between when a fish is hooked and when it is lost.
NETWORK: What you have to resort to when you can't catch a fish online.
DEFAULT DRIVE: Getting stuck providing transportation for your hunting buddies. The probability of becoming a default driver increases tremendously if you have a new 4x4.
COBOL: The sound made by the transmission of your new 4x4 as it hits a rock while you're serving as the default driver.
HARDWARE: Clothing worn by an ice fisherman shortly after he emerges from the hole he fell into.
CURSOR: Name given to individuals who blurt out expletives in moments of extreme disappointment while fishing or hunting.
JOYSTICK: Affectionate name given to any fishing rod you actually catch a fish with.
MEMORY: 1) Something you once had.
MEMORY: 1) Something you once had. :)
MEMORY: 2) A mysterious force that can turn an 8-inch Walleye into a 5-pounder, or 5 hours of sleet and freezing rain into a beautiful day in a duck blind.
MOUSE: The "nothing" your gun dog barks at hysterically at 3 A.M.
MOUSE PAD: The condo the mouse built in the new down vest you left in the corner of the garage after your last hunting trip.
SOFTWARE: Your favorite shirt after you've worn it for several years.
SHAREWARE: Something you needn't worry about happening to your software, but will when your girlfriend takes a liking to favorite shirt.
VIRUS: Disease you pretend to have when you call in sick to go fishing. The duration of the virus will depend on how good the fishing is. One such virus was responsible for the death of my Mom, 6 times.
VGA: Very Good Act. What you need to put on in front of your boss and co-workers when you return to work after calling in sick with a virus.
WEB: The name for the knotted mess of fishing line your son or daughter asks you to straighten out moments into opening day of trout season.
:D
(Not sure of were this first came from but I thought it was worth a post.)
Any more we can come up with? Remember kid's read this board too!
BE.........><,,>