The wise ones

[R.E.F.]

After reading some of the posts lately, I realized that some of you haven't heard of the power of the wise ones. Wise Ones live in every fishable body of water. They are the descendants of the gods. I personally subscribe to the theory they are the children of Thor Heyerdahl, the Viking god of Thunder and Balsawood Baits. But that's another story. The Wise Ones control everything that happens on the water. Every morning just before daylight the Wise Ones select the "Mostest Intellegentest Angler" on their water and convey upon him the title INFLICTOR OF HIGHER MORAL HARANGUES. This title and its duties last until sundown. If you are ever chosen you will know because a representive of the Wise Ones will annoint your temples withoil from a twetyfive year old bottle of Dr. Juice. For that day you will be known as The Chosen. Your duties will be to seek out those that don't things the way you do them (in other words, the right way.) When you find them, it will be your duty to correct them. Think about it...too many, too small, too big, poor boat contoll, poor technique, wrong boat, wrong State.... There all yours. When you find these wayward ones, you will motor up to them, stand up in your boat and shout, I AM SMARTER THAN YOU, SHUT UP AND LISTEN. You will now have the wayward one's undivided attention. He will think about this very briefly, then yeild to your superior intellect. He will be very receptive to your thoughts and point of view. Lecture him and proceed to the next wrong doer.
Now for the sad part of this tale. There are pretenders and charletons out there who try to usurp the rightful powers of The Chosen. To you villainous few, I say beware. The Wise Ones also created BAWA (Baddest A.. Whats Around). No matter how bad you are, Bawa has the ability to be badder. You will know when you start your lecture and Bawa yells back, "You're a jerk, but I'm a bigger one. LET'S ESCALATE". And you will have no choice. But soon Bawa will tire of you and sink your little boat. As you slip under the surface you will yell, "BUT I WAS RIGHT,DAMMIT" and you will once again prove the ancient angler's axiom. AN OPEN MOUTH TAKES ON WATER.
I am tracking two other stories of the Wise Ones. They both deal with how they created the different kinds of fish. The first is "It's A Wonderful, Wonderful Walleye" and the other is "EelPout: What The ##### Were They Thinking?" I'll let you know how they come out.
In the mean time: RELAX....ENJOY....FISH

[cisco]

And why, oh wise ones, were salmon created to be orphans at birth, and childless at death?

Ahh, the mysteries of our watery world.

[R.E.F.]

Cisco,
Funny you should mention salmon today. The story I got from the Wise Ones is that salmon were created at Mardi Gras. Fast, Flashy, really a good time fish. Unfortunately, the planning session ran over into Ash Wednesday before they had hammered out the 'go forth and multiply' part of the salmon. In their now subdued mood, the decision was, O.K. you can have sex, once, but you're gonna pay, bigtime.
Hope this clears things up a little.

RELAX...ENJOY...FISH

[R.E.F.]

Wise Ones update:

Last night about closing time I asked the Wise Ones about this miserable long winter. Turns out that in their efforts to enter the 21st century, they invested heavily in technology stocks. After that fiasco, they tried to recover their losses at the slots. Now they're really torqued at us humans and they're makin' us pay. They did agree that if they can hit just one progressive, they'll lighten up on us. Pray for triple sevens.

RELAX...ENJOY...FISH