update to wow this hurts

[bellison]

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart
for all of the sound advice and prayers.There are truely
good people around and it is a credit to Walleye Central
as to the caliber of people here.A class act all the way.
From WC advice:My daughter and I did go fishing.It was a
tough day for us for the mood really was sad.We did catch
a few bluegills and by the end of the day,we were laughing
and just having a good time.I believe it worked but took a while for us to adjust.
WC advice:I did file ASAP.So it is a matter of time.I just want
the axe to fall so that she is gone.
WC advice:I did get a seperation notice for credit.
The soon to be ex gave me full custody of my daughter but is really complaining about the child support.It is sad that my
daughter says that mommy doesn't love her.wow!!!I tell her that
she does in her own special way.(I hope)The soon to be ex still
has not called my daughter and it hurts to see her cry.
The both of us are getting counseling and it does help.
The sad thing is she is walking with alot of money and no
responsibilities and we are the victims here.She should be
punished but it won't happen.(50/50 thing).I have never bad mouthed her in front of my daughter.or ever for that matter.
I live by the theory of what goes around comes around.
I am keeping:my daughter,my house(though I have to buy her half
out,and OUCH!),my truck,my boat,my black lab and a parakeet that
attacks me.She also wants me to have the new windstar back.(I
think she can't afford it and...do I really want it? knowing
whats been going on in it.)
I am sorry but I felt that there were so many of you truely
fine people that have been giving me advice deserved a follow-up
on progress.I still have not stooped to their level as to thottling this guy and I think it is blowing their minds and throwing a monkey wrench in their plans.I have however been getting death threats now.Oh well,just goes to show you you
never really know someone,even after 20yrs.
Thanks again for all your support and good fishing to all.
Might catch ya on the water.
Brian

[Big D]

Just wanted to say good luck and good riddence. I think you have great plan to help yourself and your daughter. One thing to remember is that there will be many more good times to be had in the future. Don't stop your assertive actions and try to do what you can to mitigate your losses.

Good LUCK!

[Dutchman]

LAST EDITED ON Jun-28-01 AT 05:02AM (CST)[p]Bellison, Sounds like you're pulling it together for yourself and your daughter. Keep it up. Buying out your ex's share of the equity in your home is a toughy. Moving on will take time but you sound like the kind of person that will handle it with style and grace. I'm concerned for your daughter. Hopefully you have some family and freinds near you. The bright spot in her life is she has a wonderful father, and she'll never forget that. Good luck in your future...

[Michigander]

Hello Brian,

We're all still here for something like this and were looking for a follow-up / Fishermen are a Brotherhood and we know how to toss a lifeline. The 50/50 no fault thing stinks in a situation where the other wasn't an equal wage earner, or in situations of betrayle, adulatory - abandonement / that law just basically stinks, fails to recognize what Marriage is and true justice // that's why I support the idea of a Civil Suit in these type situations - the man is not innocent in this - Married means hands off even if she isn't acting and saying that.

I predict that within a year, she won't be where she is now, things will be a disaster - for each of them ///// but not that you will want to know of or care because you and your daughter are moving on - not looking back, and there will be a significant other come into your lives with caring like you've never experienced - DO NOT LOOK BACK, and before long their won't be anything worth looking back at - and money, we make more money every day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ she has to pay the support or her things will be in the old ringer - there's going to be tricks coming from her direction - be ready with a good stiff-arm !!!!!

Long term, you and your daughter are going to be fine ( Still tough right now - toss bad thought out as soon as they appear - bad thought do not come from the light ). Soon you will begin to find things that you need are on dubble sale, you will find unbelieavable quality strengths that you would have never found without this having happened. Organize and plan ahead - think positive, aquire and use all resources for raising you and your daughter above this.

WELL DONE BRIAN !!!!!!! When you start dating later on, you'll need us again - LOL ><>

[Box]

Good job Brian! You and your daughter will do great in time.

Keep the faith and keep taking the high road! I'm sure it will pay off with a great young woman/daughter. She's watching and learning from your actions.
Box

[pwuebker]

Glad to hear things are moving along. Fishing was a great idea, time alone to talk and share.

I'd suggest that now is a good time to redo your mortgage to finance her portion (Agree on an amount before doing anthing else however). Depending on your current mortgage you might even get a lower monthly payment.

[cisco]

"death threats"....???

I have no idea who is making them, but that is heavy stuff -- prohibited by law. Free speech has limits. Follow thru on that to put a stop to it and to get them off your backs. You have legal recourse in that vein as well as the marriage.

Again, good luck. Keep the faith. Lots of folks are pulling for you and your daughter.

[FireTiger(dr)]

Good to hear you got it together,find a taxidermist in your area to take that parakeet problem,

[BGunn]

Give her the parakeet, that way you can truthfully say "The last thing I gave her was "THE BIRD"!

[Dave in Mpls]

Funny....I thought when the hammer initially fell, she didn't want anything. Now she wants half the house. Surely an indication of things to come. My advice is to believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

In regard to the death threats, assuming you were serious. By all means keep and document these. I would also get the authorities involved. That is serious sh!t, and should not be taken lightly. I have a cousin named Guido who owes me a few favors. You say the word......

Regards

[Hawgeye]

I was impressed with the quality advice here as well. I do say that even though alot of it sounded like brilliant advice, which in my opinion it all was, it is amazing how easy it is to give the advice when not faced with the issue.

The fact that you were able to stay level headed enough to follow that advice speaks very highly of your intelligence. I am impressed that you are watching out for your daughter. She does not understand why "mommy" does not love her, but, "mommy" really has no respect for herself or her family. You will develop an unseperable bond with your daughter if you focus all of the negative energy toward raising your daughter the best you can. I respect you for taking the high road, the right road and the best road!

Is the black lab a good bird dog? I say let the parakeet go and tell your lab to "fetch"!

[HUSKER]

Glad to hear things are working out. Keep up the good work with that daughter.

[bellison]

thank you friends for all your support.
we will get through this.
i hope to catch some of you on the water this
fall.
take care.
brian

[RD]

Brian,

In regards to the threats; If they are coming by mail or written form, save them. If they are coming by phone, contact your phone company. I worked for Bell Atlantic in PA and while all states have different regulations, they will have some means of tracking these calls. In PA, there is a code you dial into your phone after one of these calls. The next day you report the call to the phone co. and they will note the number in their records. If you file a complaint these records will be turned over to the court as evidence. Also, keep a log, noting dates, times and what was said. Although it is tough to do, pay attention to detail. Male or female, background noise, etc...

My ex cheated and left me. Two years later her and him went on vacation, he ran into an old girlfriend and ran off with her. It all comes around.

RD

[Michigander]

Brian,

We're looking for you to focus streight ahead - you'll need friends / I hope that someone is helping you with paperwork and contacts. Remember, WHEATIES - THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS !!!

[fishwhenican]

Glad to hear you are hanging in there Brian. There will be ups and downs. Enjoy the ups and don't let the downs get you too down.

Keep your guard up and stay to the high road. You are the better person for doing so!

Best of luck!